@weinerdog4life: My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush.
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@MTV2GuyCodes: Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?
@RedBeard3000: Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking
@LuvPug: I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'
@ariscott: Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.