@weinerdog4life: My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: [getting ready to go out] Wife: I have nothing to wear! Me: *wearing my PE shirt from middle school* I'm ready to go
@hipchkk: If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention.