@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.
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@zachraffio: They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart.
@Supafunkadunka: My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious.
@PuckingItUp: Nothing says "I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich" like giving your 2 year old an iPad.