@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.
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@emireecraire: Not sure if the bulb for my check engine light finally burned itself out or if my car magically fixed itself, but I'm going with the latter
@erikbransteen: Future Headline: “Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence”
@carlyken: Reporter: so what is it like being in Maroon 5 when you're not Adam Levine, um Mr. Uh- *quickly googles for his name but google has no idea*
@Book_Krazy: Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:...