@thatstings: My wife faked an orgasm, so I faked a mortgage payment
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@slimmy_shady: I hate when I give people nicknames like "stupid face" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is.
@iTomFoolery: Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I’d call them Tomaskateers.
@SortaBad: All of my tattoos mean something. For example, the Chumbawamba lyrics on my rib cage mean I don't drink tequila anymore.