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@amishschool: My wife finally got a "Brazilian".
He seems nice.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: ME: I fell in the shower.
HIM: Send pics
@FullGrownChris: Cashier: "Look at all this candy! You're going to have a lot of happy kids this Halloween"
Me: "It's Halloween?"
@Rick_IZ: People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer
Just throw it out. I'll print it again.
@NoticablyBacon: Its a little cheesy but holding up a boom box outside her window and blasting the song "Cotton Eye Joe" will win her back everytime
@jakefromstfarm3: "Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" -a very curious play goer.