@KentWGraham: My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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@_NTFG_: My friend left his laptap on the floor in my living room. My other friend thought it was a scale. Conclusion: She weighs $950.
@NakedHangover: I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp.
@ilovepie84: I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there.