@ericsshadow: My wife Googled "how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter" and now she won't let me stay home alone.
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@jlock17: Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.
@MyPornKhan: I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything.
@mattingebretson: I saw a woman crying on a park bench so I sat down and hugged her and whispered "please stop stealing my spotlight"