@ericsshadow: My wife googled "when is it safe to leave a child at home alone" and now she won't let me stay home alone.
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@MavenofHonor: The worst thing about coming home from a trip isn't unpacking, it's the looming threat of nuclear war
@VancityReynolds: Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
@skickwriter: Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.