@rcromwell4: My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird.
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@TheKenyan_: Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?
@AnOrangeSNES: Apparently just because I have the "mind of a child" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's "illegal" to carry a brain around.
@jwoodham: MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
@Ms612: Fellas, if she asks you to sign life insurance policies on the way to your honeymoon, you're probably not making it out alive.