@Slims_Ramblings: My wife hates it when I introduce her as my ex-girlfriend.
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@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket
@GauravBlue4ever: Church: Follow Jesus. Me: Does he follow back? Church: .. Me: .. Church: .. Me: Shoutout for shoutout??
@Paxochka: Sometimes you look at an ex and think maybe they're not so bad. And then they start to talk and remind you why you hate them.