@ericsshadow: My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late.
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@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.
@BradBroaddus: I've found that nowadays most people don't like holding hands in public. Especially if you don't know them.
@omgthatspunny: Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands. I love this joke because it never grows old.
@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy.