@ericsshadow: My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late.
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@Cpin42: Barista won't write "Air Bud was bullshit" on my coffee cup. We've been arguing for 20 minutes. HE’S A DOG THAT PLAYS BASKETBALL
@NikiWithIssues: Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!
@FrauFickenDammt: A white man beaten with a wheel of Parmesan claims it was a hate crime. Cheese on cracker investigation begins.