@ericsshadow: My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@: The boys I nanny for just asked me where I work and I didnt have the heart to tell them their parents pay me to hang out with them so now they think I work at Chili’s
@breatheandlove: My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship.
@Shanomenonandon: WHISKERS: There's nothing there. Go ahead. BLIND PERSON: *Steps off cliff* WHISKERS: Technically ^-- why we don't have seeing-eye cats
@deenasjoint: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.