@Parentpains: My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help.
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@EndhooS: [Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] "TRICK OR TREAT!" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*
@Smooheed: Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know
@causticbob: Windows: "You may be the victim of software counterfeiting" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I
@primawesome: I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat.