@novicefather: My wife is addicted to goji berries but I wish she was addicted to something cheaper like cocaine.
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@badbanana: Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers.
@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere
@Steelers1972: If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership