@roggyie: My wife is constantly accusing me of being racist.I dont care what she says,Im black,shes black,it should concern me that our baby is white
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@murrman5: [determined not to have any awkward silence during date] "so, what's your favorite part of a banana?"
@dreamthievin: Too bad the Kardashian show couldn't be like "The Ring" and kill anyone who watches it.
@stonedcoldlazy: Today marks 5 yrs of being smoke free!! Now I spend my time finding new places to hide the bodies of those who've pissed me off!
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won’t know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don’t know either.