@IntoxicaTweeted: My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.
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@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
@UnicornSyrup: Kanye West named his kid North. Drake Bell says he'll name his first kid Taco. I think Jessica Biel should name her kid Batmo.