@IntoxicaTweeted: My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.
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@jonnysun: *stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "Rogue One" idea: The spies anxiously wait to meet their new commander. Boldly - regally - he strides into the room. "Mesa Jar-Jar Binks"
@Jake_Vig: My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
@jessicaa1017: Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say "when" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives