@IntoxicaTweeted: My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.
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@PinkCamoTO: David Attenborough voice "Amazing. See how the youngest of the species always needs something when the mother is in the bathroom."
@joejwest: ME: You've put on weight DRACULA: No I haven't. Prove it ME: When you fly, how many bats do you turn into? DRACULA: [deep sigh] A shitload