@Eagle_Vision: My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
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@iGreenMonk: "Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!" means "I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."
@Abusitron: How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple
@egg_dog: Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…