@Eagle_Vision: My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
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@hmmwalsh: Twitter is perfect for men, because with men brevity is key. Beyond 140 characters they know they're going to say something wrong.
@kelkulus: The Russian version of "How I Met Your Mother" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page.
@ZachWeiner: Our baby doubled age in a single day. If my calculations are correct, a month from now she'll be about 3 million years old.
@TheBlessMess: Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.