@Eagle_Vision: My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
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@drhappyknuckles: I'm writing a screenplay where a shark attacks people at the beach but, like, emotionally.
@NintenDom: I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life.
@hazelmotes1: "They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears