@KentWGraham: My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
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@WilliamRodgers: How to become a Saint 1: Become Catholic 2: Live an exemplary and pious life 3: Perform at least two miracles Or...Just Be Kanye's baby
@juanadog: Say, hypothetically, I was stuck in an air vent over a dressing room at Lane Bryant. What kind of legal issues am I dealing with?
@truegritrumble: ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name.
@Discourt: My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting.