@superdadatron: My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
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@Rollinintheseat: I wonder if Mariah Carey knows it's possible to sing a high note without pointing her finger in the air?
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@TheDailySchmuck: Black Super Mario *Jumps on mushroom* *Throws fireball at turtle* *Slides down sewer pipe* *Arrested for assault, arson, and trespass*
@dafloydsta: Road rage, because yelling and cursing at strangers in the safety of your vehicle is fun. Unless they have a gun.