@KentWGraham: My wife is not buying that Russians hacked my phone and texted that her mother is an overbearing windbag with no sense of boundaries.
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@DepressedDarth: That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones.
@EyeSeeYou619: HIM: it's not necessary to say "testing 1-2-3" into the microphone every time. do you understand? ME: check-check. yes, your honor.
@AngelaEhh: Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.
@Sickayduh: As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror and I think that says alot