@KentWGraham: My wife is not buying that Russians hacked my phone and texted that her mother is an overbearing windbag with no sense of boundaries.
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@brynnester: [Conference Call] “After the tone please say your name” *Tone* Me: *nervous* Your name
@girlontapas: People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints..