@peachgrenade: My wife is not happy with some of the comments in the anonymous suggestion box I attached our bed.
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@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
@tackie_jackie: Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic.
@Vice_Queen: My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place.