@dshack8: My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas.
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@Reverend_Scott: [bum holds his hand out] "can I have some change?" change comes from within "thank u. now I'm not poor anymore"
@Loli_Sug: My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16
@Reverend_Scott: We need a ride home. "I called a Gruber" Don't you mean an Uber? [villain from 1988 Die Hard arrives in black Prius]