@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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@Tuna_Lover: I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway.
@CheryeDavis: If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents.