@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer
@DionneMcNutt: There's 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
@AmberDonn: Facebookers reacting to it snowing is very similar to a caveman reacting to seeing fire for the first time.
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.