@papasuncle: My wife just opened a bottle of wine so my chances of getting laid just went from 0 to 750ml.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fro_vo: "Does your dad play any sports?" "No, my dad hates sports" *dad walks in* "Hey there, Sport"
@theshantilly: The child that I carried in my uterus for 9 months & suffered through 13 hrs of labor for just asked if he could have my pickle. Hell. No.
@AimeeHelene1: I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail.