@Blarebare: My wife just said that Twilight is better than The Lost Boys. I don't think there's a jury in the world that would convict me.
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@freypalm: Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*
@TheCiscoKidder: When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife.
@Home_Halfway: Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says "What's up, Doc?" he's legitimately concerned.
@JoshuaHvr: This is your brain- *holds out egg* This is your brain on drugs- *puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*