@jus4golf: My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn't mean together.
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@juicymorsel: I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
@JennnQuinn: Why is it when the sun blacks out on a Monday afternoon it's an "amazing natural phenomenon" but when I do it's a "problem"
@LostFelicia: I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too.
@iamrandomape: [job interview] BOSS: biggest weakness? ME: I never know when to quit BOSS: that's ok, ur hired ME: I quit