@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I are walking through Central Park and pointing out all of the places that we remember seeing dead bodies on Law & Order.
@markydoodoo: Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that.
@causticbob: I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble
@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.