@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.
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@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing Me: training my pet rock Friend: that's dumb Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face* Me: no rocky, no
@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.
@Mr_Kapowski: 9 year old daughter: Are you sure? Me: *shoving a banana in a fish bowl* What do you think a Sea Monkey eats?