My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.

@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing Me: training my pet rock Friend: that's dumb Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face* Me: no rocky, no

1

@MinionTrainer: Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam.

94

@Mr_Kapowski: 9 year old daughter: Are you sure? Me: *shoving a banana in a fish bowl* What do you think a Sea Monkey eats?

1

@causticbob: "I don't understand swimming. You don't see fish going for a walk."

2

@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months

1

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