@AndyAsAdjective: My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life.
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@JhonRules: When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them "Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours".
@Eightinchgoat: Whoever said "The best things in life are free" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer.
@MyHairyLife: I will not eat a donut. I will not eat a donut. I will not eat... I will not eat a third donut. I will not eat a third donut.