@KalvinMacleod: My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.
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@MarfSalvador: [Looking at the vast night sky] Her: What do you think about other life forms? Him: Well *thoughtfully rubs chin* wallabies are shit
@mrsmith196645: I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly.
@sonictyrant: HER: Did you have the birds and the bees talk with the kids ? ME: *Joyously* yes, they think we should get a sex swing