@daddydoubts: My wife often wishes she could use a remote to mute me but the joke would be on her. I’m even more annoying in closed captions.
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@elle91: Everyone should own large grizzly bear in case they ever need to defend themselves against one.
@Rollmaninoz: Police Officer: Son I have some terrible news, your father was killed at work today when he fell into the scissor machine. Dwayne Johnson: *grits teeth* ...I will dedicate my life to avenging him!
@Try2StopME: 99% Indians work on the Principle of Rockets. It doesn't mean we aim for the sky. It means, we don't start work unless our tail is on fire