@Xalqee: My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike
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@bush_piglet: Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn't know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise.
@SortaBad: College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?
@angibangie: Him: I love nerd girls Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature? Him: no. not like that.
@FinallyHeSleeps: The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses.