@ericsshadow: My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here.
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@armyVet1972: I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle.
@jwoodham: Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
@vexroid: Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for.
@WilliamAder: Macaroni Grill closed four locations here. I suspect the tendency of macaroni to fall through the grill had a lot to do with it.