@gringothespice: My wife punched me during sex last night. Probably a good idea that my mistress and I do it at her place next time.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AimeeHelene1: *walks into bank dragging one of those giant checks behind me* *everyone claps & cheers* *hands check over to teller* Check is for $1.00
@3sunzzz: Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!
@TheAlexNevil: Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.