@GuyThe_Guy: My wife puts her pants on just like everyone else, but when she gets one leg in I push her over while she's off balance.
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@KaRaRacn75: Don't be alarmed when you're knocking on the Gates of hell and the devil doesn't answer....He is dealing with me.
@KeetRidley: "Hey, your fly's down" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings
@junejuly12: [road trip] My dad: Seatbelts? What seatbelts? Kids don't need seatbelts. [hospital] My dad: Concussion? What concussion?
@dragonsorbet: [Security breach at Wayne manor] BRUCE: *brooding darkly* ALFRED: The back door is literally just a waterfall