@SardonicTart: Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him

@inmybox07: My son won a plastic horn at the fair so now our house is filled with obnoxious noise because my husband won't put it down

@AtticusFinch79: [McDonald's drive thru] ME: i'd like a happy meal with a coke HIM: will that be a regular coke or an eight ball?

@mishakey: I found some dignity. If no one claims it in 24 hours, I'm keeping it.

@rolldiggity: Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy "doesn't exist" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?