@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
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@OBiiieeee: i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here
@BritXNic: Don't argue with strangers on the Internet. Save up all that negative energy for your coworkers and door to door salesmen.
@jonnysun: JOB INTERVIEWER: it says here ur a postmodern deconstructivist…? ME: did ur parents realy name u 'Job'? especialy with a last name like urs?