@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
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@nickbilton: The revolution will be tweeted. The sunset, Instagrammed. The relationship, Facebooked. The storm, Vined.
@AdamTheLobster: I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. I bet they could afford a house if they werent drinking money all the time.
@matt___nelson: [Maroon 4 meeting] Adam Levine: "Our band name sucks" Drummer that no one knows the name of: "let's think bigger" Adam: "I've got it"
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not sure if this clerk is smiling at me bc he knows I'm high or bc we're both high, but it's been 6 minutes and we're still just smiling