@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.
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@dorsalstream: SOCRATES: [dying] Plato, my dear pupil, I’ve always wanted to tell you something. PLATO: Yes, my teacher. SOCRATES: I often made sweet sweet love to your mom. Now please take good care of my documents. ... PLATO: [Socrates’s funeral] Too bad he left us no writing.
@caseytduncan: Ooop, you spit-talked on me. I'm just gonna pretend nothing happened and freak out inside my mind.