@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.
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@shutupmikeginn: I like watching documentaries about murderers because i know i'm doing better than every person in the movie.
@Matt_The_1st: Marriage, Or as I like to call it; The wonder years Wonder why she is mad this time Wonder why my stuff is on the lawn
@GrowlyGrego: It's like my racist grandpa used to say: "Good morning." That unrepentant bigot had many flaws, but cordial salutations wasn't one of them.