@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
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@heatherlou_: *slips seductively out of shorts* You know what that means... *sleeps soundly for 7 hours* *drools a little*
@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
@rebrafsim: [thrift store] Me: I'd like one thrift, please Cashier: sir, we sell used- Me: money is no object C: we don't- M: I need a thrift