@mikeym00n: My wife said she wants to rescue a cat so I threw it in the pool.
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@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
@lawyerthoughts: Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine.
@inojperez: "It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?" Honey, this all they have in prison.