@EndhooS: My wife says brushing my teeth when sitting on the toilet is disgusting but honestly this toilet brush is almost brand new
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@jordan_stratton: Don't be a doormat for people to walk all over. Be a FAKE doormat over a trapdoor that leads to a secret pit of cobras.
@MythicPicnic: I'm at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
@BlindVigil: I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
@BatBatshitcrazy: My ex mother in law once commented that she wished her son had stayed married to his first wife. Me too, I replied.