@OwensDamien: My wife says I remind her of James Bond. I'm bad at following orders, I'm emotionally dead, and she'd like to see the role go to Idris Elba.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: scalpel NURSE: scalpel M: sclissors N: scissors M: neeble N: are u sure u should operate on ur own brain M: *nods head diagonally* toast
@cray_at_home_ma: Sorry I told you we should definitely hang out sometime and then didn't answer my phone for 5 years
@tdawks: The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't.