@jergarl: My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch.
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@DaddyJew: I put the D in donut. And I do it quickly before any of my coworkers return to the break room *giggles*
@Playing_Dad: Walk up in the club like "THIS IS MY JAM" handing out small jars of my homemade raspberry preserves
@Parkerlawyer: I just reached in my purse for a pen and found a full 4 pack chicken nugget box from McDonalds. So I get it, squirrels. I get it.
@juneohara65: I have a time phobia. *looks at watch, panics *looks at clock, panics *looks at thyme "This I can handle."