@Lowenaffchen: My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons "speech impediment" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work
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@Tbone7219: The cops just showed up at work & all the workers that have been in trouble before fled. At least that's what I can see from under my desk.
@yonewt: God I'm so stupid I was looking all over for my car keys, turns out they were on my head the entire time.
@dmc1138: When I see a piece of gum in the urinal, I think of how painful that piss must've been for that guy.