@Lowenaffchen: My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons "speech impediment" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work
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@TheMichaelRock: Her: is he trained? Wife: of course! Me[from the couch] QUIT TRYING TO SELL ME ON CRAIGSLIST
@IamEnidColeslaw: That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died.
@EffdotEss: When you pick a name for your kid, type it in Microsoft Word first. If the red squiggly line shows up, please reconsider.
@TheCiscoKidder: The length of time toddlers stare at each other on the playground would get you stabbed if you did that shit as an adult.