@Lowenaffchen: My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons "speech impediment" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work
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@TheThryll: Kind of sad that the most fragile men in the world are required by law to become pro wrestling referees.
@PaperWash: [Signing waiver for the show Cops] No no, you don't have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?
@RitleySammich: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.
@GensPlace: I began writing full time 20 years ago. I've sold lots - my tv, my car, my jewellery...