@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.
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@brichie13: He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!
@david8hughes: [skydiving with my dog] Me: ur ears r inside out My dog: can't hear u my ears r inside out Me: it's the wind My dog: I think it's the wind
@bridger_w: Amazing how a fight can break out at the grocery store over something as simple as knocking over someone's cart and demanding they fight you
@RxitWounds: [Auto-shop class] "Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor even when it's in a van" *raises hand* "Or a truck" *lowers hand*