@Underchilde: My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
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@_making_friends: I'm currently between relationships. The couple on my right are kissing and I think the couple on my left are about to start doing it.
@BuckyIsotope: The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant.