@Cheeseboy22: My wife took me to the most amazing 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play.
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@MindyFurano: Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress
@KalvinMacleod: [adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan
@Snarfernini: If you ever say 'I seen' in a sentence. I will never sleep with you. Under any circumstances. Ever.* *including zombie apocalypse
@GrumpyBahr: Preacher: God's love is unconditional! Me: Then why is there a hell? Preacher:...... Me: Your move.