@omgthatspunny: My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.
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@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.
@FuckabillyRex: Tonight I sleep on a bed of fried chicken and biscuits. The colonel drizzles me with gravy. Is this heaven or hell? It's both.