@WetzelGeek: My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.
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@stanleybehrman: Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean.
@yab_kat: Me: I have a question about this time travel machine I bought from you guys Him: Sir, we don't sell time travel machines me: not yet
@TheRolo: Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching.
@schumoo: Like Grandma used to say, if it seems too good to be true buy as much of that shit as you can. Grandma drank a lot. We miss her.