@BradBroaddus: My wife wants to go on a romantic date for Valentine's Day so I guess I'll stay home with the kids.
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@hdaniels_00: Tomorrow I'm going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
@bourgeoisalien: man: you're beautiful me: gross man: humanity is a black hole of stupid and i'm dying inside me: [heart beats fast] oh my god are you single
@hipsterocracy: People shit on Columbus like they've never knocked on the wrong door and then murdered the people inside and lived there.