@XplodingUnicorn: My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
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@Spaziotwat: [Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: "wtf?" God:"You're a crab" Crab:"wtf?" God:"Now go forth" Crab: *walks sideways "WTAF?!"
@superdadatron: I'm testing my theory that I can get away with putting a 0 or N/A in a work report that requires answers when I don't know the answers.
@theyearofelan: Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven because they wouldn't let you in because you're terrible?
@GibJimson: You politely tap a jogger with your car one time, and suddenly you get labeled a hero.