@amishschool: "My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner" I explain to the other homeless people.
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@Juicedballs: When Granpa revealed an exit wound scar from WWII it gave me strength to show him the owie owie bruise I suffered closing a faulty pizza box
@buck4itt: Don't email me a link to a 6 minute youtube video. I wouldn't watch a video that long if in contained clues to solve my own murder.
@phranqueigh: "You're not like the other girls." "Yeah, that's pretty much how this works. We're literally all different ones."