@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.
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@murrman5: are you the girl who types everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*
@andsarah2: I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
@DirtMcTurd: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants